Before You Eat Another Candy bar…

Posted on 10 Comments

Backseat Conscience

About a year and a half ago, my husband stopped to get some gas at Wawa.  It was summer and a pretty hot evening.  I, as greedy as I was at the time, said, “Hey, honey, can you run in Wawa and get me a pack of Peanut Chews?”

My daughter, who was home for the summer warned from the backseat, “As soon as you eat that you are going to gain ten pounds.”

Did she really think her comment was going to stop me?  It most certainly didn’t, but she continued to be my backseat conscience.

My husband got back in the car and handed me a pack of Peanut Chews. My hero, I thought, smiling, as I unwrapped the package.  I quickly shoved one into my mouth,  my conscience still grumbling in the backseat, saying things like, “Mother, you have no control.  I thought you weren’t eating sweets anymore.”

“Oh, be quiet, ” I mumbled with my mouth twisted in pleasure.

My daughter gave up. My husband drove in silence, and no one was prepared for what happened a second later.

I felt small legs moving on the left side of my tongue!   I screamed and spat  candy all over the center console, digging frantically in my mouth, searching for tiny parts that may have been left on my tongue.

My husband yelled, “What?  What’s wrong?!!!”  He thought I was choking.  I am sure he thought I better be choking, spitting all over the place like a fool.

I am not sure what I was saying as I spat, but I called on God a few times, tears in my eyes and nauseous with disbelief.  I remember holding  my hand over my mouth and saying, “Oh my God, Jade, what is it,” as she examined the half chewed chocolate pieces and watched the creature crawl. At first she laughed so hard she couldn’t speak.  ”What?!  What is it?” I asked again.

“Mom, it’s beetle!!!! Ah….ha….Ah…..Hahahahahahahaha…”  I have never heard her laugh so hard!  ”Mom, that’s what you get for being so greedy! Ah…hahahahaaha….”

Now, I was thinking, my mother always told me to never eat chocolate in the summer.  I thought back to the time when I was ten-years-old and had maggots in my Clark Bar.  I couldn’t even get mad at my daughter for calling me greedy.  I rode home, in silence, with my hand over my mouth as my husband drove with one hand and wiped off the console with the other.  I told them I just needed to get home and brush my teeth.

I haven’t had a candy bar since that experience, and I don’t want one either. So, the next time, you think you may want a candy bar, think of me and my beetle incident.  It sure helps me think twice every time a see candy bars displayed below the front counter of CVS or in the aisle of a grocery store.  I am now my own backseat conscience.


 Me with my backseat conscience

By Shawn R. Jones

Author of the devotional book, Pictures in Glass Frames

and the poetry chapbook, Womb Rain,

10 Responses

  1. Uzoma says:

    My! I can relate with the craving and the need to say ‘no.’ Though true, I found this piece a bit humorous as well. Nice advice and thanks for the post.

  2. adetokunbohr says:

    You know what? I’ll tell you: this still won’t help. Everyone’s still going to get their bar of candy until a beetle or something else crawls down their throat, really. lOL.

    • Well, now I’m just hooked on Oreo cookies lol and I agree, with you; This will not help anyone at all. People WILL satisfy their cravings until they eat their own beetle lol

  3. coastalmom says:

    Ahhh…couldn’t stop reading! You have a gift!
    And this one was better than Weight Watchers¡

  4. Rhonda C.Fitzgerald says:

    I enjoyed a pack of peanut chews for you this week, Shawn. When you shared this story. previously, it definitely minimized my addiction to chews. I can handle them about every 6 months now.

  5. dfunpen says:

    Ha! Ha! Ha! I’m still laughing. Wish I could remember that and not reach for biscuits. Those are my cheat foods

  6. Stacy says:

    Something similar happened to me once with Burger King. I sent my daughter to a day camp during the summer that was right near Burger King and I got in the habit of stopping for breakfast every morning (after dropping her off, of course… I’m not going to let my kid eat that garbage! haha). Anyway, after about 2 weeks of this daily Burger King stop, one day I bit into my croissant sandwich and there was a HUGE, SHARP, piece of plastic… I have NO idea what it was or where it came from. It didn’t cut me but it was in my mouth and I FREAKED! I have never been back since lol

    • Plastic? That is awful! At least beetles are edible lol Now you haven’t been back to THAT Burger King, but have you been to other Burger Kings? Was it a big piece of plastic? I once had a piece of glass in my hamburger. That was when I was still a “meat eater.” My friend made and grilled the burger on her grill. Hmm… I was not quite able to figure out what happened or where the glass came from. Strange. Btw, thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment : )

Leave a Reply