About a year and a half ago, my husband stopped to get some gas at Wawa. It was summer and a pretty hot evening. I, as greedy as I was at the time, said, “Hey, honey, can you run in Wawa and get me a pack of Peanut Chews?”
My daughter, who was home for the summer warned from the backseat, “As soon as you eat that you are going to gain ten pounds.”
Did she really think her comment was going to stop me? It most certainly didn’t, but she continued to be my backseat conscience.
My husband got back in the car and handed me a pack of Peanut Chews. My hero, I thought, smiling, as I unwrapped the package. I quickly shoved one into my mouth, my conscience still grumbling in the backseat, saying things like, “Mother, you have no control. I thought you weren’t eating sweets anymore.”
“Oh, be quiet, ” I mumbled with my mouth twisted in pleasure.
My daughter gave up. My husband drove in silence, and no one was prepared for what happened a second later.
I felt small legs moving on the left side of my tongue! I screamed and spat candy all over the center console, digging frantically in my mouth, searching for tiny parts that may have been left on my tongue.
My husband yelled, “What? What’s wrong?!!!” He thought I was choking. I am sure he thought I better be choking, spitting all over the place like a fool.
I am not sure what I was saying as I spat, but I called on God a few times, tears in my eyes and nauseous with disbelief. I remember holding my hand over my mouth and saying, “Oh my God, Jade, what is it,” as she examined the half chewed chocolate pieces and watched the creature crawl. At first she laughed so hard she couldn’t speak. “What?! What is it?” I asked again.
“Mom, it’s beetle!!!! Ah….ha….Ah…..Hahahahahahahaha…” I have never heard her laugh so hard! “Mom, that’s what you get for being so greedy! Ah…hahahahaaha….”
Now, I was thinking, my mother always told me to never eat chocolate in the summer. I thought back to the time when I was ten-years-old and had maggots in my Clark Bar. I couldn’t even get mad at my daughter for calling me greedy. I rode home, in silence, with my hand over my mouth as my husband drove with one hand and wiped off the console with the other. I told them I just needed to get home and brush my teeth.
I haven’t had a candy bar since that experience, and I don’t want one either. So, the next time, you think you may want a candy bar, think of me and my beetle incident. It sure helps me think twice every time a see candy bars displayed below the front counter of CVS or in the aisle of a grocery store. I am now my own backseat conscience.
Me and My Backseat Conscience ; )
For quite sometime after this incidence, my friends referred to me as Beetle Juice : /
I have to admit, I do kind of like that purple shirt ; )
Thanks, Shawn. I mean, really…Thanks! LOL My addictions as of late, are Reese’s Cups, Almond Joy, and lightly salted Lay’s Potato Chips. Suffice it to say, reading about beetles and maggots is making me a bit reluctant to eat another candy bar. Next time I am in Wawa, hopefully I can by-pass the cany bars and walk out with only a bag of Lay’s Potato chips;-)
Now…if we can just get a beetle in that bag of chips lol
Shawn, that is too funny. I never knew that about chocolate. I rarely eat candy in general but had 2 little candy bars just yesterday. I love peanut chews too. Oh well another reason for me to stay away from chocolate and get skinny! LOL
Peanut Chews were definitely my weakness. Before this incident, I had a pack of Peanut Chews a week. BTW, you don’t want to be skinny. I tell my dance students that skinny is a bad word. The results you get from eating right and exercising consistently are not “skinny.” Please…you looked beautiful in your skirt the other day. Remember the discussion we had : )
What a nice way to start a snowy Saturday morning… laughing! I pictured your family but in my mind, Jade was the little girl I remember. (It played out like those “baby talking” commercials of late.) -can’t wait to read more!
“Baby talking” commercials lol That would make it even funnier. Jade has the same personality she had when she was a baby. Now she expresses in words what she used to express with a look. Nonetheless, she has always gotten her point across lol Thank you for your post, Susan : )
Hilarious!!! Jade was right on time with her warning you to avoid the chocolate. I’ve never heard that about chocolate in the summer, but I will keep that in mind if/when I induldge in my favorite Ghirardelli dark chocolate squares. Mmm…. yummy!
I have never had Ghirardelli squares lol It is probably some popular fancy candy I should know about lol Thank you for your comment, Tanya : )