No Longer Down the Hall

Posted on 4 Comments

First draft written 12/2011

When my daughter told me she wanted to study in Germany for a month in the summer of 2011, I wanted to say, “Germany?!  No, I can’t even drive there if you need me!  Germany?!”  But then I remembered I wanted her to see the world, study abroad, and experience places and people firsthand that I had only read about. But then I kept getting haunted by the fact that I could not protect her in Germany.  Germany!  Not to mention that it was not a cultural melting pot like America and right away the natives would know that she was a tourist. And once she spoke German with her cute American accent, how would they treat her? Would someone try to take advantage of her?  Kidnap her?!  Boy, my mind was going off in so many different directions, it was ridiculous.   That’s when I decided to pray about it–you know after I drove myself crazy thinking about all the worse possible scenarios.  Well, God put my mind at peace.  At some point a mother has to realize that she cannot go everywhere with her children.  They may not always live in your house, your town, your state, or even your country. With that in mind, I came to the realization that it was best to let her go without a fuss.  What argument did I have anyway?  She is living in God’s perfect will for her life, and He is with her everywhere she travels.

She had gotten to Munich safely. She wasn’t alone.  She was with 40+ other students from Princeton.  She was learning and site seeing.  We communicated through Skype every evening, so I got to hear her and see her face, so I got pretty comfortable with the idea, until… I read the headlines:  “World’s Largest E-coli Outbreak Kills 14 in Germany.” I continued to read, ” more than 300 seriously ill in Germany and it has spread to other north European countries and is expected to worsen in the coming week.”  Worsen in the coming week, I thought.  My child has to be there for 4 more weeks!  Maybe I should make her come home.  I consulted with my husband.  He was pretty relaxed about it, so it helped me relax.  He said, “Just tell her not to eat the cucumbers.”  Well, that seemed easy enough, but then the next report said that no one was really sure what foods, especially vegetables, were causing the outbreak.  So… one would figure, well, just tell your daughter not to eat the vegetables.  Well, that would have been just fine, but my daughter is a vegan, and I knew there was no way I could convince her to become a meat eater for the month she was there.  So… I verbalized my solution to her while we were on Skype, “Eat chips and water, that’s it.”

“Mom, that is not enough nutrients. I’ll pass out.”

“I don’ care.  I need you to stay alive.  Passing out is nothing compared to what the people are going through who have gotten sick over there.”

My poor child lived primarily off of pretzels.  I don’t know why she didn’t go for the bag of chips.  Apparently, Germany has irresistible pretzels. Well, even though I continued to worry, my daughter came home safely–a little thinner and very hungry, but she was okay.

She is now in her sophomore year of college, but she is home for winter break-right down the hall in her bedroom, and I am just a holler away, so I am one happy mom.   However, a few days ago, she comes to me and says, “Mom, what do you think about me studying at Cambridge for a couple months?”

“Cambridge?  You mean like in England?!!!!!”

Well, folks, what can I say?  I have a long way to go before I am completely used to her not always being right down the hall.

By the way, here is a photo of my daughter in Germany.  This is what she was doing while I was home worrying:


4 Responses

  1. boomiebol says:

    Bless ypur heart :). I guess at some point, howevr tough it may be…mothers do have to let their children spread their wings, with the prayer and hope that they never forget their roots. You have a beautiful well grounded daughter, so i am certain she will be fine, and you ofcourse.

    I wish i did all the things she is doing now, while i was in college 🙂

    • Me, too, but I get to experience it through her, which is exciting and sometimes stressful lol She did go to Cambridge this past summer, and I cannot wait to share that story. Because of it, my husband and I ended up vacationing in Europe unexpectedly lol It was an in…teresting trip. Much love to you, Boomiebol!

  2. adetokunbohr says:

    Let go.Let God.Let live. Really, it’s annoying when mum’s especially don’t come to realise they’ve got to let this children go. I mean they’re going to get married to some person, not you, some day. Buh maybe when i become a parent i’d understand how tough the bond could be.

    • I love your honesty lol You will understand better when you become a parent, but still you are absolutely right when you say parents have to Let go and let God. That was her first trip abroad, and yes, I was nervous. I also have had the experience of being a young woman, and I have met some interesting folks in my travels. I want to make sure my daughter is ready when she comes across a similar bunch, and now I believe she is more than ready. If anything, they better watch out for her : )

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